Pity party

I am being a baby.
I generally try to be mindful and grateful. It comes fairly naturally to me now, and I routinely have teary eyed moments where the joy and appreciation for my life washes over me.
This week I am being a baby.
We aren't going on a holiday. I don't get a beach vacation. The economy sucks.  Our income is down, bonuses aren't coming, we did renos. So logically I know we aren't going. We went to the Bahamas last Jan for my dad's bday. So logically I know I agreed to take a year off big vacations. We got a lake lot for the kids. Logically I know we've spent the extra.
Logically. I've never been an overly local cat though.
My heart wants palm trees and ocean breezes and swimming kids and all inclusive Pina coladas. 
Sigh.
I look at sale prices. I gaze longingly at others vacay pics and get a little pouty.
I realize what an entitled little baby I am being. I realize that people are hungry, unable to pay their mortgages, homeless and terrified. I realize all those things- Logically. 
Ever try to reason with a spazzing 4 year old? That's how I feel.  G yelled at me this morning for making her 4 pancakes when she only wanted one. That made no sense. I didn't tell her she had to eat all 4, there were just 4 in the pan. When I tried to tell her that, she flipped out and stormed off to her room.
I want to storm off. To a room in Cancun. 
Double sigh.
I'm not sure when I decided I deserved a holiday every year, or Lululemon yoga pants, or a fancy suv, or a newer house. Most of the time, I am not this way, but I do have to routinely check myself. It usually comes in comparisons..and comparisons as they say, are indeed the thief of joy.
So today I will be mindful or what I have, and not focus on what I don't.  This too shall pass... but maybe I'll look at a holiday savings account for next year 😅