Empowerment

I wrote this a few days ago and forgot to post! Dammit.

I'm feeling a more positive and less ranty post today.

One of my lovely friends sent me a picture of her super cute new yoga pants today. She was pretty excited to get them, and despite having surgery and being pumped full of IV fluids last week, fit into them. They are not forgiving pants- I have them in a variety of colors because I am a yoga pant whore. The text immediately after the pic was, as usual, explaining to me why she looked so shitty (which she didn't at all) and talking about losing more weight.
Sigh. I hate this.

I do it myself. I know it. Someone compliment something and my first instinct is to downplay it; "Oh no, this old thing?" or "If I only did more cardio/ kept my booze intake under control/ didn't have hips created for birthing this would look soooooo much better blahblahblah". The ladies in my classes do it all the time. I try to focus on strength compliments or how far they've come performance wise- after all shouldn't that be the focus? The physical appearance will come if you focus on gains in the gym and eating clean most of the time.
I did however, specifically tell a girl how fabulous she looked the other day. She beamed. Like sunshine and rainbows shooting out her ass she was so pumped that someone noticed. I've told her how strong she is before, and while it was well received... not like this.

Anyways, as usual I digress. My point today is about empowerment. Other than changing the focus of our society so we grow up NOT thinking we have to diminish our accomplishments (which I can't do because although awesome, I am only one person), how do we counteract this? I know scores of amazing women- big, small, moms, childless, career, home.... most of of them have in common the fact that they will react with an immediate diminishing comment when you compliment them. WTF.
Why do we as women tear each other down instead of building each other up? Why is it a seemingly natural reaction to say something nasty about the lady wearing a bikini when it's really my lack of self confidence to wear one too? Pointing her out doesn't make me look better, or make my karma better- it makes me look like an asshole.
So my conscious decision is to build them up. I slip sometimes of course. Yesterday at the Spartan race I felt conscious of wearing shorts (which is weird because my legs were covered in mud and no one gives one shit what I am wearing but me) but every damn time I wear shorts I feel like there is a spotlight on my ghost white legs. I made a comment about a lady running in just a sports bra. I am insecure so I make a comment about someone who clearly isn't? I felt like a huge DB.
So I wear shorts. ALL THE DAMN TIME. I don't know how else to overcome something. I tell my yoga students to push the limits of their comfort zone- outside of comfort is where we make change.